12 Jan

Okay, so my attitude is generally pretty positive.  And truly, that’s the way I live.  I know it will all be okay.  I know I don’t have to have all the answers.  I know God’s got it in his hands.

But sometimes?  It just sucks to have Crohn’s. 

I am so tired today.  I think it is likely due to my diet, maybe some of my Crohn’s.  I’ve always tended to anemia.  I’m still very scared to eat different foods.  I eat a lot of chicken soup and yogurt.  But that’s not enough.  I love the weight I’m losing.  I can still lose a bit more.  But that’s not why I’m not eating.  I’m just not hungry, and I don’t know sometimes what else I can put together for myself.  I know I need to eat better, but…’s just so much work.  And when you are drained, physically and emotionally?  Just not gonna happen.

I do miss being able to just eat something when I’m tired.  It’s too much work to make a smoothie, or heat up and eat soup.  I can’t just get into the cupboard and chow on something, good or bad.  I’d love a cup of coffee or hot cocoa right now.  Tea just doesn’t sound appealing.  I don’t crave anything, but I’m just missing it.

Yes, why did this have to happen to me?  I know, I know….all the spiritual answers, and I get that.

I just do miss my old life sometimes.

God is in control.


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Posted by on January 12, 2010 in Crohn's Journal


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