Someone asked me the other day how I can stay so positive in the midst of such a life-changing experience. I didn’t get a chance to answer this person at that moment, but I thought it was a good question. As I went to bed that night I mulled the question over in my head, and decided that I needed to tell you WHY I can stay so positive.
On the outside, it’s pretty simple. I know God is in control. Period. I have NO question at all about if I’m going to be okay. I know I will.
Now, I know it’s not always going to be easy. Having a simple faith that “God’s got the whole world in his hands” does not mean that pain and sorrow will not fall upon you.
What it means, simply, is that a person has the confidence that, no matter WHAT happens, God will be there for them. Even to the ends of the earth in the deepest, darkest caves, God is there. It’s kinda like the children’s book “The Runaway Bunny.” This little bunny tells his mom that he’s going to run away, in lots of different ways. But each time he says something different, his mom counters that she will still be there. In the end, the little bunny decides it’s just better to stay warm and safe with mom, rather than try to run away from her.
I like the term “Papa Dios” for God. For me, it means, “daddy God.” Some people in this life don’t have good fathers, so it is harder for them to relate a good God with this term. For me, I have come to realize that God truly is my “daddy God” in that he loves me, no matter what I do. It also means that he will do anything for me, just as a father who loves his child will do anything for that child. NO, He will not keep me from doing stupid things. But, when I make a mistake, He’s there to pick me up, brush me off, and point me back in the right direction.
I can stay so positive because of HIM inside of me who gives me strength. I can be FEARLESS because I know that everything works according to God’s will, even my illness.
How do I know these things?
Because My God, my “daddy God.” has walked through the uglies of my life. He has heard my pain, seen my pain, listened to my anger, and still loved me. When I didn’t think I could live any more, he gently brought me back to life. In the times when I wanted to run, He held me, and never let me go. In facing my biggest fears and challenges, when the world seemed to crash down around me, He gave me a strength I didn’t know I had. I am ASSURED that He will never leave me. Even in the darkest pits of my soul, I KNOW He will be there. I know it because I’ve seen it. Period.
I am positive because, thankfully, I don’t have to have all the answers. My life is His life. I simply listen, and obey.
My Crohn’s is just another way that HE will be glorified. To HIM be all the glory, forever!
I hope this helps you in some way. If you still have questions, please let me know. I live to share the HOPE that He has given me.