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Monthly Archives: February 2010

Pizza Hut

My husband wanted pizza tonight.  I don’t want to cook, so I said okay.  He should be back anytime with the pizza.

I used to work at Pizza Hut, and I love their pizza.

I’m not looking forward to even the smell of it.

I won’t eat it.

I’ll just want it!

Maybe I’ll go for a drive. 

🙂

 
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Posted by on February 28, 2010 in Crohn's Journal

 

Butter vs. Margarine

So this is a topic I’ve tried to research a bit lately and come up with a reasonable opinion on.  I’m shaking my head right now because it seems to be an impossible task!

There are people out there who claim margarine is better for you because it doesn’t have the saturated fat and cholesterol in it that butter has, which they claim can increase your risk of  heart disease.

There are also people out there who claim that primitive cultures used real butter liberally, and were in better health than our modern society because the fats in the butter are actually something your body needs, in moderation.  They site many studies and resources that show an increase in heart disease AFTER the introduction of the so-called “bad-for-you” oils into our modern diet.

Ugh…..

Both sides are convincing.  I can’t really made a definitive opinion on my scant research so far, because so much of it sounds good, on both sides.

BUT…..what I don’t like about margarine is the “processed” nature inherent in it.  You basically (if I’m right) take cheap oils, add a metal catalyst to it (usually nickel), heat it up, add emulsifiers and starch to help the consistency, heat it again, and then color it to make it look like butter.  I can’t get over that.  I just don’t get how that can be good for me.  You take a bunch of things and mix them together and even have to color it to make it look like something that is natural in the first place?  I don’t think so!

I’m eating butter.  Real butter.  I don’t eat a ton of it.  At this stage in my diet I probably only eat a few tablespoons a week.  I would much rather err on the “natural” side right now, rather than on the side of something processed that needs color added into it to make it easier for us to accept.  I’m also going to start feeding my kids a “real butter” spread that has canola oil in it.  I would like to move them to butter, but don’t think that’s possible right now, so I’m doing what I can. 

Do you own research.  The best way for me is to look at the labels.  I did that today.  The amount of ingredients in the margarine spreads is amazing.  A lot of the things I’m not sure even what they are!  The butter spread?  It basically has real cream, salt, and canola oil (to help with spreadability).

For right now, that’s where I’m going to land.  It might change in the future, for my family.  But for me? 

I’ll stick to real butter, thank you very much!

 
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Posted by on February 27, 2010 in Crohn's Journal

 

De-stress?

Would someone please give me a working definition of de-stressing your life?  Especially from a mom of small children, please?  I sometimes wonder how much a mom can “de-stress” her life, with all of the challenges of raising children these days.  I know with Crohn’s that at times stress can exacerbate the symptoms.  Great!  What am I do to, get rid of all my stressors in life?  Not likely.

I’m on a rant tonight.  I’ll be nice, and respectful to my family, but oh I am not happy.  I try and try and try to best parent my children, but sometimes it just doesn’t seem to make any difference.  No, I don’t have outrageously rebellious children.  I just have one that has the hardest time just listening and obeying.  And when some of those rules are there to keep them safe?  That just sets me off.  I am the mom.  Part of my job is to make sure they are safe.  I take that role VERY seriously.  If they can’t follow the rules, how am I to do my job? 

***insert big grrrrrrrrrr here***

I am praying tonight for calm and wisdom come the morning.  This lesson has to stick.  There is no other way. 

My method for tonight of de-stressing?

A small glass of wine and maybe some valerian root before bed.

 
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Posted by on February 26, 2010 in Crohn's Journal

 

Why now?

Tonight is one of those nights that I ask, “why now?”

Why did Crohn’s have to hit me now, in my mid-thirties?

Why now, when my kids take so much time and attention in order to raise them right?

Why now, when I’m just trying to discover who I am?

Why now, and not in 10 years, or even 5?

Why now, when the financial difficulties we are having make treatment and supplements difficult?

Why now, of all times? 

Life was going good, so why now did I have to get a disease that changes such a very basic part of my life as eating?  Why do I now have to deal with the daily wonder if I’m going to be alright?  WHY NOW???

I can tell you some things, of why now.

I’m so glad it didn’t hit any earlier.  I was not strong enough even a year or two ago to tackle this.  I would not have survived and been able to continue being a good mom and wife had it hit earlier in my life.  I’m strong enough right now, so that’s why now.

This changes things for my kids.  But, they are young enough that the changes will be normal as they grow up.  If it would have hit in a few years, incorporating my diet into theirs would have been a huge struggle.  They will benefit from the better eating.

God wants to teach me something through this.  Why now?  Because he knows I’m ready.  I’m honored that he thinks that I’m ready for this next step.  It says a lot about El Papa Dios, and what he wants for me.

Why now?

Because…..I am strong.  I am a fighter.  I am determined.  I will not let this get the best of me.  God’s got me wrapped up in the palm of his hand, and he’ll never let me go.  Why now?

Why not?

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2010 in Crohn's Journal

 

Energy & chutney

Today is the second day after the infusion, and, as with the last one, I had energy today.  I didn’t feel like I had to force myself to get things done, I just did them.  No, I did not do the laundry or the dishes.  What I did do though was some of the things on my “to-do” list that have not gotten done because normally I can barely muster the energy to do the regular upkeep in the house.  It feels really good to be able to get those type of chores done!

So, today was a good day in that regards.  I know I will crash soon.  I’m hoping I’ll get one more day, but I am gearing for not, just in case. 

The frustrating part about Crohn’s, for today, is how one simple thing can set my stomach off.  I made the Honey Ginger Chutney from BTVC (Breaking The Vicious Cycle- Specific Carbohydrate Diet), and the only thing different in that recipe was raisins.

Raisins?  You’re kidding me, right?

Nope.

Last night I had just a few bites, and within the hour I had some big gas gurgles running around.  This afternoon I had, again, just a few bites, and the gas started within the hour and continued, even worse though than yesterday.  It’s been almost 4 hours, and I’m hoping it’s almost done.

It’s just frustrating how a simple thing like a raisin could do this to my system.  How did I get to this point?  How did I go from a normal person eating normal food, to one who ate a total of probably 6 raisins, and it sets me on a downward spiral in terms of my symptoms?

Sigh…..

I’ll be okay.  I know I will.  It’s still early in the disease for me.  I’ll try the chutney again probably Thursday on an isolated day (one where nothing else is new), and see if it really was that.  I hope not.  I made about a gallon of the stuff, and I actually like it!  🙂

 
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Posted by on February 24, 2010 in Crohn's Journal

 

IV #2

So today I had my second of these eight initial IV infusions.  The last one I wasn’t really expecting anything to happen, and was quite pleased with the energy level it gave me.  I asked the doctor this morning about it, and she said that my current gut problems do not allow my body to absorb the vitamins and nutrients that I need to function on a “normal” basis (which I concur with….my fatigue for this past year has been tough).  With the IV’s, I am getting those vitamins and minerals injected straight into my bloodstream, so it would make sense that I have extra energy.  The doctor said the goal is that it will “stick” for longer and longer (the energy and other good stuff), and that after this introductory phase I can just do a maintenance level.

This time I also felt more energy.  It’s not like a caffeine high or anything like that.  I guess it’s that I feel more clarity, and have an ability to live “life.”  I don’t feel like I need to be chained to my chair or prop my eyes open with toothpicks.  I can feel like I can connect with my kids better, stay on top of problems easier, and generally do more with myself.  I am a person that likes to be active, and usually I just push myself to do the things that need to be done.  But with the IV, I can be active like I want to be, and not feel like it’s forced.

One of the best parts is being able to engage with my kids again.  I just feel like I can be a better mom, having the energy to keep up with them and truly engage.  I can tackle the problems between them, be creative, do homework, and love on them like a mom should.

It’s worth it, for me, to do these treatments, even if it only gives me a day or two of extra energy right now.  I hope and pray that as I continue in this diagnosis I will continue to get a handle on the fatigue and eventually, maybe I’ll have the energy full-time and I can “live” again.

 
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Posted by on February 23, 2010 in Crohn's Journal, Doctor Journal

 

“I hate Crohn’s”

The hardest part for my kiddos with me having Crohn’s is that they can’t share treats with me.  My daughter won a gift card to Cold Stone Creamery (an ice cream shop), and she wanted me to go with her today to have a special treat.  She asked if I could at least have a taste, and I said no, not yet.  Maybe in a year I’ll be able to take a small bite of treats.  It was then that both kids said that they hate Crohn’s.  In their own little mind, things are different.  They don’t notice it when I eat dinner, and have something different than they do.  They notice it most with the treats.  Not that our family always has sweet treats and desserts around.  But, that’s something special that I share with them.  I would bake something and let them help, and we would taste what we created.  Or, they get candy from school and they want to share with me, because they know I like chocolate.  It’s just different now. 

They hate Crohn’s, because it has changed a part of their lives as well.

 
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Posted by on February 21, 2010 in Crohn's Journal