Thoughts for the day…..

27 May

I think I’m on the path to getting better, truly.  Not there yet, but with some sleep these past few days I’m feeling more alive.  That’s a very good thing……..

I realized this morning as I was glancing over my past few posts that they were kinda sterile and cold….”just the facts, ma’am!”  🙂  So I thought today I’d just write, and see what comes out……..

I guess you could say I’m settling in with a life of Crohn’s.  I really don’t feel much loss anymore for the foods I used to eat.  Pizza the other night for the family, and I wasn’t even tempted to eat any of it.  It seems that I’ve gotten used to my bland diet.  I think I should be saddened at the loss of so many delicious foods, but really, I’m not.  I suppose that once you’ve gotten off of them for so long, you just don’t really want them any more.

I am LOVING having my coffee back though!  Sad part is that it seems I’ve lost some of my “taste” for coffee.  It is still that warm blanket in the morning that nothing can compare to, but I’ve yet to find a really good cup of coffee that brings me fully back into all of those memories of the past.  I’ll keep looking though.  Never give up on your dream!

My poor chickens.  I live in an area that gets more than 250 days of rain each year.  Silly me thought that I could take part of the winterized covering off a few weeks back, because we had one of those rare sunny days.  It was nice to see them and let them get some sun.  But lo and behold…here comes the rain again!  The flooring of their pen is muddy, and they sit huddled under the nesting area when the rain hits particularly hard.  I might just have to bite the bullet and go put the cover back on.  At least for another week or so.  I hope the sun will show up soon!  I’m realizing that, truly, where I live the only certainty for sun is going to July and August, and if we are lucky we’ll get some good sun in June and September.  I know my chickens will be much happier to have the dry flooring rather than the open air. 

Oh and the four “girls” have turned out to be 4 girls and one guy.  We are pretty sure that Apple is a boy, so in another couple of months we will be saying a prayer of thanksgiving for him before we eat him!

All in all, life is going well.  I’m not a high-stress or dramatic person to begin with.  I like a slow easy pace of life.  Sometimes with kids it can get hectic, but I live for those times as well.  My two kids bring life to my day.  There are times when I wonder, at 36, what my life is supposed to be about.  Yes, a mom and wife and all that goes into that.  But right now I’m searching to see where God wants me.  He’s given me something to share, and keeps bringing it back to the forefront of my brain.  It’s not a mid-life crisis, but rather just a soul-searching time for me.  I just wonder if there isn’t more out there for me.  Hmmmm…….

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Posted by on May 27, 2010 in Crohn's Journal


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