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Love/hate relationship

02 Jun

You know, sometimes I really have a love/hate relationship with this diet I’ve put myself on!  It’s not that I’m really craving any foods.  It’s just the “injustice” of not being able to eat them at all!  Our American society is so ingrained with the “fast” and “processed” foods that I can never escape it.  Everywhere I turn I see someone eating a donut, or drinking their latte, or stopping at a fast food joint, and I am reminded that I can no longer even taste these foods.  It just seems so unfair….yet it’s something I’ve done to myself.

I guess I love this diet for all the good it’s done me:  no more gas/bloating/constipation, my skin has cleared up, I’ve lost 50 pounds, and I feel great!  I can truly feel the difference inside of me, each and every day, and this diet is what has helped that.

The “hate” part comes on a day like today.  It’s rainy and miserable outside yet I have a field trip that I had to go on with my daughter, and there are just all sorts of things I’d like to reward myself with.  For instance…I just got home and am cold and soaked from the rain.  I would have loved to stop at Starbucks and get myself a latte.  Not any more!  I stopped at McDonald’s to get my daughter a treat, and would have loved to have a simple breakfast sandwich.  No way!  For lunch I had a Lara Bar.  I walked around and saw all the wonderful things that the kids were eating.  Cookies, lunchabales with all of that wonderful fake cheese and processed meats, chips, crackers, PB&J sandwhiches…not to mention the Twinkie that some boy brought!  Oh my goodness…..what has come over me?  Why did I put myself on this diet???  🙂

Oh yes….that’s right.  I have Crohn’s, and no matter what the doctor says, I believe that diet can play a huge role in how we control our symptoms.  I wanted to be proactive in treating this disease, and not just naively take whatever pills the doc wanted to put me on.

So, I go through life loving this diet for all of the good that it has done.  I love the way I feel and look, and I love knowing that I’m doing something for myself in being so diligent.

And I hate the diet for all of the bad things it keeps me from, even though that is truly what is best for me.

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Posted by on June 2, 2010 in Crohn's Journal

 

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