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Monthly Archives: August 2010

Coconut Almond Biscotti

Oh yum!  I tried this recipe last night, and it is so good!  It doesn’t turn out like the biscotti you get at the coffee shop- hard and dry but delicious when dipped in coffee- but it was great nonetheless!  It is more like a breakfast cookie, which suited my taste buds just fine.  The only problem, again, is that I find it hard to eat just one or two a day.  🙂 

I found the original at www.nomorecrohns.com, and here is what I did:

Ingredients

1/2 cup honey

1/2 cup vegetable oil

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

1 cup coconut flour

1/2 cup almond flour

3/4 cup slivered almonds

Method

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.  Prepare a cookie sheet by greasing it with oil and placing a sheet of parchment paper on top. 

Take the honey and the oil and beat them together with an electric mixer until well mixed (about a minute).  Add the vanilla and eggs, one at a time, blending well after each egg.  Add half of the coconut flour and half of the almond flour, mixing until well blended.  Add the rest of the coconut flour and almond flour and mix until well blended.  Do not over beat.

With a rubber spatula stir in the slivered almonds.  Using the spatula, plot the dough onto the cookie sheet in to long logs, parallel to each other.  SLightly smooth the top and sides.  Bake for 18-20 minutes, or until browned but not burnt.  Remove the tray from the oven and with a sharp knife, gently gut the logs into 1 inch cookies.  Gently flip them over, and return the tray to the oven for 12-15 minutes, or until the cookies are a rich brown.  Remove from oven and allow to cool completely.  These can be frozen.

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2010 in Breads, Breakfast, Crohn's Journal, Recipes

 

3 am

Yes, it truly was around 3 am when I woke up this morning.  There is a great song these days that starts, “it’s 3 in the morning, and I’m still awake….”  That’s me!  I don’t usually wake up in the middle of the night, but of course this time it happens when I have a full day ahead of me.  😦

My coffee is brewing, and so I guess I’ll write……

The first problem I encountered when I woke up was a snoring husband.  I usually go to bed before him so I can sleep, and be blissfully unaware of the soft, annoying noises that he likely makes all night long.  So when I wake up in the middle of the night, I can choose to either nudge him and tell him to roll over, or just get up.  I chose the latter today.

The other thing that had me going was our daughter.  She is all of 7, almost 8, going on 14.  She is a very bright little girl, and has an independent (read stubborn…which I feel turns into determination as an adult!) spirit.  I feel that right now we are having to parent her with an iron fist, coupled with love.  Sometimes though, it just doesn’t seem to be working.  Like tonight, at the dinner table.  We’ve taught manners to both our kids, but our daughter just seems to “forget” a lot of times.  I’m at a loss as to what to do.  I brought home a huge cupcake from the food bank, one for each kid.  The kind that has a ton of icing.  A very special treat, indeed.  And what does my daughter do?  She spreads the icing all over her hands as if it were play dough, and were a game.  This to me is behaviour of a small child, not one who has been taught manners at a table.  But here I came around the corner to find this mess.  And it’s not the first time.  Needing to be firm, I didn’t spank, but I did express my displeasure, and then threw her treat away.  I feel that if she’s going to make a mess of things like that, then she doesn’t need to be rewarded by eating the rest of it.

Sigh……

As a parent, you want so badly for your child to “get it” with life.  You want to just love and spoil them, and turn a blind eye when they do foolish things. 

But I just can’t do that.

I want her to grow up to be a strong woman of God.  I want her to love life.  I want her to be happy and fulfilled.  If I don’t guide her in this process of growing up, who will? 

I love my girl beyond measure.  The song that was running through my  head?  That’s her life-song.  The end of the first verse and the chorus go like this:

I started writing, just what I’d say, if we were face to face.

I’d tell you, just what you mean to me

I’d tell you, these simple truths:

Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope

You’re gonna do great things

I already know!

God’s got his hand on you so don’t live life in fear

Forgive and forget but don’t forget why you’re here

Take your time and pray

These are the words I would say

Oh my love….I love you so much.  I want so much for you.  Tears fall down my face thinking of you, and all that you are.  I’m so sorry that I have to be firm, but it’s because I love you that I do these things.  Please hang on.  Don’t give up on yourself, or on me.  We are both learning how this works, being in a relationship.  I’ll keep working on my end.  But just remember…..

I will always love you.

And there is nothing that you could ever do that would change my love for you.

 
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Posted by on August 28, 2010 in Crohn's Journal

 

Neverending Story, 2

I just can’t get this movie out of my head.  This morning as I sat in silence and drank my coffee, I remembered the last time we watched the movie with our kids.  There was a point in the movie where Atreyu, the hero, was getting weak or scared, and he was on the verge of giving up.  At that moment, my kids both cried out, “Don’t give up Atreyu!  You can do it!”  I smiled while watching that movie with them at that moment, and I smile again remembering it.

This morning, I wondered how many times our God sits in heaven and does the same thing.  He watches us with the concern and love of a parent, and when he sees our feet growing weak, cries out, “Don’t give up!”  How often does he do that, and I am not aware?  How often does he smile, and yell out, “I know you can do it!”

Some days, I wish I could hear his voice saying those things to me in a loud shout from heaven, and not the small voice in my heart.  There are days where my courage is faltering, and it takes strength to listen deep.

But I need to remember that, even if I can’t hear it at that moment, My God is still right beside me.  He is still watching.  And he is always crying out to me, “Don’t give up!”

 
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Posted by on August 26, 2010 in Crohn's Journal

 

Neverending Story

Do you remember that movie in the 80’s called “The Neverending Story”?  I loved that one!  It’s about a boy who gets caught in the story of a book, and is swept away to a magical land where he battles evil, discovers himself, and saves the day.  And yes, everyone lives happily ever after.  🙂

The title of the movie though is what caught me today.  Sometimes, I bet, people feel like they are in their own “neverending story.”  The plot lines are the same, the characters don’t change all that much, and the story just keeps going around and around and around.  It can get kinda boring, if you are not careful, and complacency can set in.

Our life right now feels like a “neverending story.”  The kids are still out of school, and so the endless cycle of food and entertainment to keep the natives from going crazy goes on and on.  Life without tv just goes on and on.  I used to relish my time to myself at night.  Now I cringe at the thought and wonder if, truly, I could go to bed when the kids do. 

And then of course, we have the money thing.

Especially in this economy, the neverending story of doom and gloom and no money to be had just keeps going and going and going.  I hate to keep writing about our own struggles because I know that everyone is in the same boat.  I don’t want to sound like a broken record.  We’ve been here before in our 16 years of marriage, more times than I can count, and we might be here again.  That’s where my “neverending story” is today.  The crystal palace is just a breath away, but in the meantime we are stuck in the swamp fighting giants and ghosts and trying to regain our feet.

But you wanna know something?  The “neverending story” does have an ending, and that doesn’t change either.  Yes, in the movie the hero saves the day and all is well.  In our life, we might never be a hero like that, and our life-story may end on a quiet note, without all the fanfare and trumpets.  But we know the end.  We are secure in where we are going.  I may not be a princess in possessions, but I am a daughter of the most-high King.  The ending of my story goes like this:  I will fight through the giants of this world each and every day.  I will slay them not in my own power, but by His strength.  I will ride on the wings of my Saviour, and he will carry me to the end.  There will be a joyful celebration, when I reach the end, but that’s not what I desire.  The smile of my “Papa Dios” as he warmly embraces me, and says “well done,” is all that I truly want.  

My neverending story has it’s bumps and bruises, that’s for sure.  But the ending?  It is oh so good, and so worth the wait……..

 
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Posted by on August 26, 2010 in Crohn's Journal

 

Eggs!

My girls have started to lay eggs!  It’s not a lot yet, just one or two a day, but with the huge egg recall, I am so thankful to get fresh eggs right from my backyard!  I thought it would feel like forever before they started laying, but it’s really not been so bad.  They’ve become a part of our lives here, and often are outside their pen eating bugs and such while the rest of us just go about our business.  The kids LOVE going out each morning to look for eggs.  I can’t wait until we are getting a couple each day!

 
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Posted by on August 23, 2010 in Crohn's Journal

 

Low

Every so often this Crohn’s shows up as being emotionally “low.”  I know that it can be a side-effect of a thyroid not working properly (like mine).  It can be because of all the other ways that Crohn’s can affect your body.  And it can also be due to the stresses of life, or anything else at that moment.  I don’t know a single person that spends their entire life “up,” and so when a “low” comes it doesn’t scare me.  I just don’t like it. 

I can’t really point to my emotional status today as being caused by the Crohn’s, though that is a likely culprit.  I would guess that it has something to do with the stress of our finances.  We find ourselves again scratching and clawing for every single dollar.  And we find ourselves again looking at the future, at possible ways out of this, and wondering if God’s will will manifest itself in that scenario or not.  I have had to take Valerian Root the last two nights to go to bed because my heart was just racing.  And then today, this afternoon, really just the past 2 hours, I’ve felt that warm blanket of melancholy surround me and not want to let go.

I know what this feels like, and I know I don’t want to be here.

So, I’ll do some things for myself tonight, like have a bit of wine, and send my kids across the street for a movie so I can have the house to myself.  I’ll maybe listen to some music, or just play on the computer.  And tomorrow, I will go to church.  It will be good to worship in God’s house, with God’s people.  My heart needs that.

 
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Posted by on August 22, 2010 in Crohn's Journal

 

TV

Well, it’s been about a month I think since we shut off our cable.  Really, we don’t miss it all that much.  The kids have had an easier time of it than us, amazing enough!  We get lots of movies each week from the library, read more books, and generally just spend more time together.  I know that it is all worth it, and I have enjoyed the extra time my husband and I have to just sit and talk each night after the kids go to bed.

But I’m having a hard time with why I’m so tired!  It’s not like I stayed up late watching TV each night before, and I’m not staying up late now.  Maybe my tiredness has to do with being a full-time mom to the kiddos this summer?  That can wear just about anyone out!  I actually go to bed around the same time each night as before with TV, but I am waking up tired, and I’m not sure why.  My only thought is that, when we had TV, I would allow myself an hour just to veg each night after the kids went to bed.  I would turn on my favorite show, and let my mind “zone out.”  This was “my time,” and I think my mind really needed those moments to unwind from the day.  I haven’t yet figured out what can replace that.  Playing on the computer takes too much work.  So does studying.  Reading is something I love, but if I zone out, I miss key points in the plot.  🙂  I guess I could go to bed even earlier, but that would be lame, I think.  An 8:00 bedtime for me???  Don’t think so….. 🙂

So, I’ll continue to see what I can do.  I know when Fall TV comes I’ll miss not watching a few of my favorite shows like Survivor and NCIS.  I might have to figure out how to watch them on the computer.  That still doesn’t solve the problem of being tired each day, but maybe having the kids in school will give me time to rest each day.  🙂

 
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Posted by on August 19, 2010 in Crohn's Journal