14 Jan

What is stability, and how do you achieve it?  I know that I am one that loves structure in many forms.  Wait, don’t put me in that box!!!  I guess I should say that I love the flexibility to do new and different things, but at the same time I still like to have my ducks mostly in a row!

So when life is unstable in some format or another, how do you find stability?

I know the answers that some of you will give me, and I agree with them.  When your hope rests on God and not on the circumstances, then everything truly is going to be okay.

But sometimes the anal-retentive part of me craves normalcy again.  I want a regular schedule that I can rely upon, where each day is mostly the same format with chances to break out when needed.  I’m tired of every day finding something different.  I have not been able to grasp yet any joy in waking up each morning not knowing where I’m going to be working or what I’m going to be teaching.  I’ve been trying, but it’s just not there!  I try to keep the household on some sort of track, because I believe my kids need to feel that life is still stable.  Am I trying to hard at it?

Once we were on a road trip, and things piled up until I was ready to explode.  Want to know what I did to calm down and re-center myself?  I organized the luggage in two cars for seven people in preparation for the 8-hour trip home.  Once that was complete, it was like a part of my brain was able to say, “okay, we see that there are parts that are organized, so now we can get back to the unorganized part of life.”

Right now, this minute as I type, it feels all swirly inside me.  Life feels like a bunch of pieces to a puzzle that don’t fit together, yet I keep trying to make them.

I’m game for whatever God wants to bring and wherever he wants to take us.  And I trust him.  That’s not the issue.

I just want life to settle down.  Yet, it doesn’t look like it will any time soon.

So, I ask again, how do you find stability when life is unstable?  I truly would like to know your answers.

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Posted by on January 14, 2011 in Crohn's Journal


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