Okay, silly title. But sitting here at a bit before midnight, unable to sleep, I needed some humor. We went out to a Mexican restaurant for the first time in I don’t know how long today. I love Mexican food, and have missed it a ton these past two years. Well, I’m not missing it now!
I will admit that, having passed two years with Crohn’s and on the SCD diet, I’ve slipped a bit. I’ve taken up the attitude that “a little won’t hurt me.” Especially this past week, with Thanksgiving, my determination to stay strong and stay away from foods I am pretty certain are not good for me has weakened. I guess it’s a good thing that my system is in rebellion. Maybe it will get me back on track, like I’ve been for two years. Fanatical almost at times with how strong I was in staying the course. But today, it’s just showed me that this disease is still here, still lurking, and I need to be very diligent….still.
My body aches. It almost feels like arthritis type of pain, not flu-like. It’s in the joints of my knees and hips. Lying down is not very comfortable, so trying to sleep wasn’t working. This is way off from normal for me. I don’t have aches and pains. I have a headache….I’ve had a lot more of them since I’ve been cheating these past 3 weeks. My stomach hurts a bit. The gurgles have calmed down, but there is a dull ache in the lower abs. This I have felt a few times in the past, and it is a typical sign that something is not right. Crampy…that’s a good word. And I don’t get cramps…….things just don’t feel right.
What did I eat? I ate probably 1/2 a tortilla chip with about 1/2 teaspoon refried beans and salsa. Mark had shrimp fajitas, so I thought I could have just some of the shrimp and veggie mixture…..no tortillas. I had like 3 shrimp and 1/3 cup of the veggies. A fork-ful of spanish rice and refried beans. I used to love just that….with chips or tortillas. Since I was a kid that’s what I always went towards. That’s about it. Of course, they cook the fajitas in their own special sauce. That I KNOW wasn’t okay, but again, I thought it would be okay with just a small amount. Apparently not. That’s all I ate. Really. Ugh…….
Guess I’ll go take a Tylenol and try to lay down again. I was just about asleep, and then my dog decided he needed to go outside. Wonderful…….
At least my family room has been decorated for Christmas…..in my head. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll have enough energy to do it for real……..
Sigh……..sometimes, I just miss being able to eat without fear.