I took a test quite a few years ago that was supposed to tell us if we are task-oriented or people-oriented. It might (or might not!) surprise you….but I came up high on the “task-oriented” side. Back then, I was totally driven by the goal at hand….what needed to be done to accomplish a task, regardless of who was in the way. And, if I’m honest, I’ll tell you that I still come home to the “list.” Give me a problem and ask me to find all the points necessary to solve it, and I’m good to go. Hand me a list and ask me to follow it to completion, and I’m heaven. My brain just tends to relax when given a task that I can organize through and complete. In my core nature, I am a detail person.
But…..I’ve worked very hard over the years to be more balanced in the task vs. people debate. I realized years back that it’s not all about the end, but also what’s encountered in the middle, that counts. People matter, and I want to be sensitive to the people side of things. So many times we (and I’ve been guilty of this in the past) can go so fast towards a goal we forget about all people we encounter along the way. And yet, if we slow down and take a moment with someone that God places in our path at that exact moment, the blessing received (or given) can often be more satisfying than completing the task at hand.
The one thing that bothers me the most about this Crohn’s is the lack of energy. Yes, I can push my way through just about anything, and not many people will see the tiredness in my eyes at any given moment. But what I really dislike is that, in those moments of extreme tiredness, I go back to the “list.” Sometimes it is the only way I can make it through the day….to create a list of things to get done and work my way through it. Last night, my daughter hugged me and her heart was tender. The past two days have been filled with exhaustion, and lists. I could feel her heart, and she needed mommy to be done with the lists. I stopped, took a moment, and reconnected with her heart. The exhaustion of this disease got to me, but in the process I forgot to take care of my kids’ hearts.
Not a big ouch, but still…..
It just reminds me that, even with being tired or not feeling well, I cannot ignore the people that are given to me at any given moment. We do not know when they will be called home. Yes, I can still work on my “lists” in order to get done the stuff that needs to get done. But I need to be sensitive to the hearts of those I encounter. I need to wait on God, and listen for His voice, guiding me in the direction He needs me to go at that moment. He’s not going to send me around the world when I am already exhausted. But He can and will use my heart, my smile, my words, my….whatever in order to accomplish His goal in someone’s heart.
I’ve learned a better balance over the years of task vs. people. Now….it’s just allowing God to use both of those in my life, for His glory.