In another life, and another time, when I had to tell someone “No” I would feel like I had to make excuses. I don’t know where that came from, but it’s a hard habit to break. I guess part of me felt that I should be able to do everything and drop anything to beckon the call. Especially when it came to doing it for the church.
I just said no to something I didn’t figure I’d ever say no to.
I said no to singing.
You heard me. Me, the person who has cried for years that God would let me back into the world where he set the passions of my heart in.
But, with everything going on right now, I had to. It would tip the plate too much for me to say yes. Though everything in my body wanted to say yes, and I desperately searched for a way to say yes…..I had to say no.
It was the right decision, yet, I found myself wanting to make excuses. I wanted to say all that’s on my plate and to explain why I can’t add one more thing. I heard the phrases in my head, “But, it’s for God. Can’t you just trust him to provide for you? Why can’t you drop everything for HIM? You must not be a very good Christian.”
I think those impressions were given to me once upon a time, in a different life.
But I’m a new creation now. And I’m in a new family. I trust their heart’s, and their motivations.
No is an okay word.
We are all mothers, fathers, workers, and children of God.
Just because I said no once, does not mean that it will always be a no.
I walk each and every day trusting God. My only hope is in Him.
Just because I said no does not mean that the door is closed.
HE knows whats going on. And HE will use me, when the time is right.